How to reward good behaviour the right way

Can you imagine working for a boss who: Notices every single mistake you make Reminds you of these mistakes at every opportunity Belittles you, points out your faults, and minimizes achievement whenever you start to feel good about yourself Never acknowledges what you do right with so much as a kind word or small reward That’s a strange way to motivate people! Yet, that’s exactly what we often do to ourselves when dieting. And then we wonder where our motivation goes. We already spend a lot of time beating ourselves up. So often, in fact, that it almost seems normal. If you really want to build confidence and motivation, try a little love instead. Try focusing on what you’re doing right instead of what you’re doing wrong. Positive reinforcement is so much more effective than criticism for building habits. You’re someone who is in the process of building new habits into a healthy lifestyle. For motivation, you need the exact opposite of punishment – you need rewards. The first thing to get in your head is that you deserve rewards. Negative self-talk may have you convinced that you haven’t done anything special enough to earn one. That’s the old, ineffective "boss" talking. Give yourself permission to be a good, supportive boss, and you’ll get the personal performance you’re looking for. Types of Rewards Rewards can be big or small. No mystery there, except for how and when they are used. Big rewards (vacations, clothes, etc.) work great as "goal rewards," what you give yourself for reaching your final weight goal. Small rewards are often ignored, but they are perfect as regular, everyday "action rewards." These are the rewards you give yourself every day or every week for meeting your calorie levels, for running an extra kilometre, for consistently eating your veggies, or for simply following your meal plan. Small rewards can range from a movie or giving yourself compliments, to pausing 20 minutes to call a friend or take a bubble bath.  My personal favourite unplug for an hour and read a book, top it off with no kids or my darling husband to distract me and that is my kind of reward! Timing of Rewards You can literally reward yourself for anything you darned well please. The keys to doing it right are consistency and high frequency. Remember, you’re building a lifestyle full of healthy habits. And habits need repetition. That means rewarding good actions when they happen, instead of saving all of your rewards until you reach your goal results. The best approach is a mix; use rewards tied to longer-range goal weight milestones to maintain some big-picture motivation. At the same time, use rewards tied to daily and weekly actions to give those healthy habits some positive reinforcement. Dangers of Rewards Watch out for a few pitfalls when you’re building a rewards program. Mostly, make sure that the reward serves only as a boost, and doesn’t overshadow other good reasons for your actions. In other words, don’t rely so heavily on rewards or get so attached to them, that once the reward is achieved or taken away, your motivation level drops like a roller coaster. In the same way, watch out for rewards with too much monetary value. You might end up working for the reward rather than the built-in benefits of weight loss. Keep your focus where it needs to be. Also, never ever use food as a reward. Even good food. It’s just too much of a slippery slope. Don’t even mess with it. To build a new lifestyle, food cannot be a currency to be used for anything other than healthy eating. Smart Reward Strategies Above all, make the reward meaningful to you. As a reward, a new pair of shoes may not hold as much motivation as time alone with a book. Then again, it might. This sounds simple, but a lot of people work toward rewards that are more important to other people. Finally, be honest with yourself. Fudging the numbers mentally, or "borrowing" against the next reward hurts the cause of building a lifetime habit. Remember to keep your focus on building a habit, not just figuring out how to get the reward.   Acknowledge how far you have come and take pride in this achievements instead of focussing on how far you need to go.